Sleep, or the Lack Thereof

Our daughter is delightful, but she doesn't like to sleep.  I think this might be normal for some kids.  We don't know much about her first eleven months of life, but I often wonder if nights were a rough time for her.  Maybe that's why she struggles now.  Or perhaps she'd have the same issues with sleep if she had grown in my womb.  Anyway, we've tried all kinds of things to help her sleep through the night...with the goal of all of us getting some much needed uninterrupted sleep.

Here's our most recent sleepless adventure...
Last night our dear daughter woke me up at 3 am with a soaked diaper.  I changed the diaper and escorted her back to bed.  As she started to protest, I gently reminded her that she could play in her room if she wasn't tired, but I needed to sleep so she must stay in her room.  She chose to play in the hallway outside our bedroom door and I guess she got bored, so she popped back into my room at 4 am.  Lovely.  That time she got a consequence and I calmly returned her to her bed.  I was proud of her that she didn't melt down but accepted the circumstances.  She finally went back to sleep in her room and slept till 8 am.  At nap time today, she opted to skip the nap and played in her room instead.  By dinner she was exhausted and took a brief nap while I got the meal prepped.  I woke her- have to admit it was sort of fun to wake her since she woke me twice last night!!- so she could have dinner with us.  She was an angry bear!  But, finally she ate and we went through our normal night time routine after eating.  Funny thing, while we snuggled and read books she repeatedly told me, "I'm not tired!"  But all her body language shouted, "I'm exhausted!"  My husband and I laughed and laughed.  I figured at bedtime she'd drop off quickly.  Nope, an hour later she was cruising the halls again- which she is not supposed to do.  I reminded her that a consequence awaited her if she roamed around again.  As I write this, all is quiet and our sleep fighter has finally given in to slumber.

Our sweetie in her toddler bed. The bed didn't last long as she kept falling out in her sleep. Not fun.

Like I said, we've tried so many different "solutions" in the 18 months that our daughter has been home from China.  Some things work for a while, but then we revisit the struggles all over again and new solutions have to be found.  I've read the books, and I've dialogued with other adoptive moms from our travel group.  Still, I'm reaching out again to see if there's an idea that we haven't tried.  (Please share your thoughts in the comments section!!)  Also, having her out of the crib is still quite new and presenting a whole new set of "adventures" for us to figure out.

Here's our list of trial and error attempts to help our girl rest well:
-stick to a night time routine
-night light and ocean sounds in room
-no night light (now she has one again)
-bottle before bed (when she was a baby)
-no bottle before bed
-rock her to sleep in desperation
-investigated food allergies (none we know of)
-bumper in the crib
-no bumper in the crib
-parent sleep on the floor in the room (when we are desperate)
-change diaper around 10:30 or 11:00 pm
-scripture lullabies playing in room
-daughter sleeps in our bed (she thrashes around, chats, and nobody sleeps!)
-switch from crib to toddler bed in her own room
-switch from toddler bed to twin mattress on the floor
-she prefers sleeping on the floor since she rolls off the mattress in her sleep
-digital clock in her room so she knows what time it is (still learning her numbers)
-sleeping on the floor in parents' bedroom...a solution when we are desperate
-allowing her to play with stuffed animals in her room until she's tired
-snuggle with her till she falls asleep, another desperate measure
-always...we pray.

The one thing that is working for me is to stay calm in the midst of loud crying in the middle of the night.  I tend to get really ticked when I don't get good sleep, so this has not been easy for me.  I know God is using this whole experience to smooth the rough places in me and make me more like Jesus.  I also know that this is only a season.  Eventually, our daughter is going to be able to sleep through the night regularly.  Still, it can be really rough being in the midst of it.  That's why I so appreciate conversations with other moms.  We usually discover as we chat that our life experiences are strikingly similar at times.  Sometimes one mom will have a brilliant idea that is so helpful.  Other times it's just a balm to have somebody to talk to that can honestly say, "I know what you mean!"  Thanks for listening to me babble on tonight!

Scripture Lullabies

How do you create a peaceful atmosphere in your home?  The quickest way I know of is to put on peaceful music.  Our "go to" peaceful music is Scripture Lullabies.  We now own both volume one and two.  They are excellent, and have blessed our family in many ways.  When the kids are cranky or tired, when I'm stressed and trying to get a hot dinner ready for the family, when we are in the car and wishing we'd already reached our destination, when my daughter can't sleep...Scripture Lullabies has been a source of comfort and help to us.  Many times, my son will even request to listen to it. (His favorite song is Bless the Lord from Vol. 1.  He insists we all sing along to it :) I love that my kids are learning God's Words as they hear the music.  It's beyond awesome to hear them quoting scripture!  Plus, I find myself singing the songs in my head and being reminded of so many good things that God has to say.  Anyway, enough said...check out their website, watch a video, listen to sample songs, and if you like what you hear then use the 20% off coupon code listed below.  This would be a great Mother's Day gift to yourself or get one as a gift for an expecting mother.  However the music is really for any age not just little ones.  I know you will be blessed by it!

http://vimeo.com/33631561

Not on my "To Do" List

It was a usual Tuesday morning.  We needed groceries, I had my list, and my son asked to come along for the ride.  He promised to ride in the cart, not complain, and be on his best behavior.  I agreed to take him along.  As soon as we got inside the store, he began to resist getting into the cart.  Ok, time to employ the boundaries lessons I've been learning: "You can either ride in the cart, or you can go home."  He chose to go home...but then changed his mind when he realized I was serious.  "Fine, but remember you promised to not complain and be on your best behavior."   I wheel to the first aisle on my list and my son started misbehaving!  Ok, I put the item back on the shelf and wheeled for the exit.  Once he realized I was seriously going to take him home, he begged me to let him stay.  Alright, last try...we go back to the aisle and I pick up the same item off the shelf.  He whines, "The store is BORING, I want to go home."  Item goes back on the shelf, and we begin wheeling for the exit again.  Thanks to the Boundaries with Kids book, I'm staying calm but this is all very annoying to me.  My son is feeling rather triumphant that he is getting what he wants.  That annoys me the most.  As he climbs into the car he looks across the parking lot to neighboring store and comments that Costco is not boring.  I mention casually, "It's too bad you decided to go home, you won't be able to go to Costco."  Then everything falls apart once he realizes he might be missing out on something fun.  The whole drive home, my son- four and a half years old- wailed loudly.  He did not want to go home.  I kept calm (on the outside) and eventually stopped responded to his cries to not head home as he wasn't listening to me at all.  Thankfully, my husband was home so I was able to get his help in calming our son down and deciding on a proper consequence.  I was ticked, by the way, that I'd lost about an hour and a half of my time because of my son's misbehavior.  We decided he'd miss out on a movie and have to sit it out in his room while sister watched.  I'd lost a lot of time so he'd have to miss out on something fun that mattered to him.  Furthermore, I took his sister to the grocery store with me while my son stayed home with my husband for a discussion about being considerate and respectful.  (Thank you, God, for blessing me with a great husband!)

I was in need of some sort of treat after that craziness, which was so out of the ordinary for my sweet but strong willed son.  So, I took little Miss M on a date to the coffee shop.  I let her pick out a donut for us to share.  I got a chai, and she had a milk.  She was wearing an adorable little dress, and her hair was in piggy tails with bows to match her dress.  M was so darn cute, and was absolutely golden on our outing.  (I wished I had my camera with me!)  As we sat there enjoying our snack, I realized this was the first time I'd actually done something fun like this just her and me.  It was a special time for both of us.  After our treat, we went to the boring store and I got all my groceries without any fuss.  I was thanking God for my daughter, and showering her with kisses and praise as we shopped.  I arrived home refreshed and feeling merciful toward my son.  He was in a much better frame of mind, apologized, and all was forgiven.  He even got to go to Costco a few days later, and he was very well behaved!

Later on Tuesday, I had time to process all that had happened.  I realized that my "to do" list for the morning had been to get groceries and make a healthy dinner for my family.  Instead, the Lord was asking me to take the morning to teach my son how to be considerate of others and to respect and obey his parents.  Parenting can be tough, especially when the misbehavior is on display for the general public at the grocery store.  But, parenting is what I'm supposed to be doing in this season of my life.  Every day it stretches me.  I make a lot of mistakes.  Often I feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities on my shoulders.  However, God is teaching me that He will give me the grace and strength to be a mom.  The main thing is, I need to ask for His help.  I just finished reading Kisses from Katie (by Katie Davis), and her story has been a great reminder to me that we can do amazing things with God's help.  Well, I've gotta run... there's a little lady down the hall that just started crying in her crib.  (It's 9:40 pm, and she's still awake!)

My family...blessings each and every one.

Book Club: Kisses from Katie

Want to read along?  I've been waiting for this book -Kisses from Katie- for a few months.  What a sweet surprise to find it on the hold shelf at the library today.  Usually I don't even try to read when the kids are awake.  However, I couldn't wait till bedtime to start reading this one, so I read (somewhat successfully) in the midst of the kid chaos.  This is a book that is going to challenge me, but in a good way.  It's about a young lady who visited Uganda for a three week missions trip during her senior year in high school.  After she graduated from high school, she returned to Uganda planning to stay for a year and teach at an orphanage.  A year turned into years and now she's adopted over a dozen girls and continues to do what she can to help the people around her.   If you have read it, or decide to read with me, please let me know!  I had so many great responses (via comments, email, or in person) from the last book, Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman.  I love hearing from you all and finding out your perspective on the books I'm reading.

Boundaries With Kids

I've read quite a few parenting books.  None of them have been super helpful...I don't know why??  However, I recently checked out another parenting book with hopes that maybe this one would shed some light on the struggles of parenting a four year old & a two year old.  Yep, I found the book! Boundaries With Kids by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. This one is a winner!!  I'm seeing results as I implement the suggestions, hallelujah!  The biggest one for me is giving consequences while showing empathy instead of anger...that has been very effective with my four year old son.  You can read about showing empathy while giving consequences starting in chapter 4: The Law of Sowing and Reaping.  I think I'll need to read the book over quite a few times to let it all sink in because I need to change my perspective and how I approach certain situations with my kids.  I wish this book had been required reading instead of some of the other books I had to read before we adopted. (Yep, they require that you read parenting books if you want to adopt!) What I love about this book is that the authors are Christian psychologists (they understand how people tick), they incorporate scripture into every chapter (so I know they are giving wise advice), and they give lots of real life examples that make sense (which keeps me interested and connected to the text).  Of course, I'm also learning a lot about myself and areas where I need to establish better personal boundaries.  I checked the book out at my local library and then decided to purchase a copy on Amazon for around ten dollars.

Four-Leafed Clover...

For me, seeing was believing...  I found this in my backyard last summer.

Happy St. Patricks Day to you.  Did you do anything fun to celebrate?  We didn't (not even green eggs!)...but all of us wore some shade of green today.  I'll never forget the time I went to school (in the first grade) without green on my clothing and got pinched all day.  I told my son about the silly tradition and he was quick to remind my husband to put on a green shirt before he left for work.  :)

About the picture of the clover...I'd never believed that there was such a thing as a four-leafed clover.  During elementary school recess, we'd sit in a giant soccer field and look for clover with four leaves.  We never found any, therefore I assumed that it was a myth just like pots of gold at the end of the rainbow.  Well, in July I happened to be sitting with my kiddos in a patch of clover.  Remembering the long ago hunt for four-leafed clover, I looked down and the first thing I spotted was a real four-leafed clover!  Although I don't believe in good luck, it was such a rare find that I decided to photograph it.  It got me to wondering, how many other things in life have I written off as not real because I'd never seen living proof?  

Green Eggs and Ham

St. Patrick's Day is coming up on March 17th.  Here's an idea to try with your kiddos- green eggs and ham.  I've been on a health kick trying to sneak a fruit or veggie into every meal.  Recently, I was making scrambled eggs and the thought popped into my head to add some mashed avocado to the eggs.  My kids love avocados, so I thought they'd probably eat the eggs.  It turned out to be a success, although the eggs needed some spices since the avocado is sort of bland.  (Maybe pepper, salt, garlic, or onion powder?)  I'm certain that part of their willingness to try the eggs was that we'd been listening to an audio version of the Green Eggs and Ham book by Dr. Seuss not long before.  Once again, we brought a favorite book to life and had a fun time trying something new.  

Our Green Eggs and Ham experiment, with green plates too!

Will she like them?  "Try them, try them and you may!"

Another participant in the green egg experiment...

He approves!

She likes them too!