Transition Times & Other Challenging Moments

I am a very slow learner when it comes to life lessons.  I wish it wasn't so, as I have to keep going through the same hard stuff over and over before finally...I get it!  Recently I had one of those moments where I realized a pattern that had been happening repeatedly for the past two and a half years.  Good grief, why didn't I notice this sooner??  It has to do with my kids and times when they are most likely to misbehave.  We all know that when our kids are tired, hungry, or bored they are more likely to be hard to get along with.  What I did not notice until a couple of weeks ago is transition times are also a major time for misbehavior.  You know, like stopping one activity to move on to another.  Perhaps it's getting on shoes and coats so we can go somewhere.  It might be time to stop playing and head to the dinner table.  A major one for us is pausing the movie so our son can go use the bathroom.  He often fights that one.  Or maybe it's the transition from being away to coming back home.  I have so many memories of standing at the coat closet trying to put away coats after an outing and having an all out battle with my kids about something inane.  "Why?!?" I pondered this after a particularly ugly confrontation in the hall next to the coat closet recently.  Then it dawned on me that these moments are all on the heels of something else.  We had a change in pace, change in location, change in activity and now there's a struggle to transition to something new.  Once I got it I started reminding myself in my head: "Ok, this is a transition time so be more patient.  Don't be surprised if there is noncompliance.  Remember they are still quite small and changes aren't easy for them."  All this self talk- when I remember to do it- has really helped me and I've often been able to see something brewing and ward it off.  I also pointed out what I'd learned to my husband.  The other day we shared a knowing look as we dealt with our daughter melting down at the end of a fun bike ride.  We just nodded and said to each other,  "Yep, it's a transition time..."  Then to the kids,  "Who wants a juice box??"  The meltdown subsided and we moved into the house for some juice.  Seriously, I wish I'd known this when they handed me my son!  Sorry, my sweet boy, that it took me so long to figure this out.  Thankfully, my dear daughter will have an easier go of it through ages two and three than my son did.

Some other moments when my kids are likely to be"difficult" are: when I'm on the phone, when I'm trying to do my hair and makeup in the morning, while I'm making dinner, when we are paying for something at the store...  Hey, parenting isn't easy!!

I'm trying a new game plan for when I'm on the phone.  If my kids are getting too crazy, loud, or doing naughty things on purpose (since I'm on the phone and they think I won't notice) I hold up fingers and count to five.  If I get to five fingers, that means there will be a consequence when I get off the phone.  It's still in the testing phase but worked well yesterday with my son.  I'm not sure that my daughter, at 21 months understands this yet.

Here's the biggie: when I'm making dinner... ugh!  This seems to be the time of day that tries moms' souls!  My goal is to start dinner at 4:30 so it's ready by 5:30.  When I start making dinner, I declare a work zone that is off limits to kids.  They know exactly where they can and can't roam in the kitchen.  That way we are all safe and nobody is literally underfoot while I'm cooking.  Usually, I have to reinforce the boundaries of the work zone at least twice while I'm preparing a meal.  If I'm desperate, I put on a video for the kids to watch.  (We have a one movie per day limit so I make sure to not use the video option up earlier in the day.)  Another method that works is putting miss M in her high chair with toys or a small snack.  Then I set up big brother K at the island with a drink and something to do that isn't normally available.  For example, I have white erase boards with activities that he can doodle on and feel like he's getting to do something special.   On the nights when my husband is working and it's just me and the kids, I rely on leftovers that can be prepared in a hurry so I can avoid blow ups, melt downs, and all the other miserable misdemeanors that seem to sneak up on us during the pre-dinner hour.  At least twice a month I just wave the white flag and we grab a pizza from Papa Murphy's.

My two angelic children: K & Miss M.  They never misbehave...Ha Ha!

What are some predictable times that your kids are likely to misbehave?  And what do you do to try and redirect them into positive behavior? Please share your ideas.  I love to hear from you all!!